Only got a ‘paella’rubbish in the cupboard?


Here is a surp’rice’ngly easy dish to make.

Paella is a rice dish said to originate from Valencia in Spain. Perhaps it could could be considered one of this region’s best exports, along with oranges and world class footballers. 

You may be thinking “Ah! But he has forgotten that lovable overweight Spanish waiter, surely the most famous product of Valencia, endeared the world over!”  It is actually Madrid we owe a debt of gratitude for giving us that cHHHhhard working beaver, tactical leviathan, Rafa Benítez.

Paella together with Valencia conjures up images of sitting with a sunny seaside sangria in a dusty cafe full of burnt tourists. However in reality they seem to fit together like Paulo Ferreira coming on for Juan Mata as a wide right attacking option. I went there on a school trip once, in February, it was very cold and rained too much, but Valencia does boast a fantastic science museum shaped like an armadillo and Europe’s 5th busiest container port.

Back to the food. There must be many ways to cook a paella, here is how I did mine.

Bag of Paella rice (200-250g for 2 good sized portions)
Mix of vegetables (I used tenderstem broccoli long green beans, 1 red pepper 1 green pepper an onion 2 garlic bulbs and frozen peas)
1-2 chicken breasts
Mini cooked turkey sausage (Chorizo would be more authentic)
Chicken stock
Olive oil 


Pre-heat oven with a dish of olive oil in it. Cover diced chicken in flour and paprika and fry quickly until slightly browned, then transfer into the oven dish and cover to cook it through.

Meanwhile, in a large frying pan fry up all the vegetables and the sausage. after a few minutes add garlic paste (made by finely chopping garlic, then cover with plenty of salt which acts as an abrasive agent as you repeatedly press and rub the the knife over the garlic into a paste). 

After another few minutes add the rice and plenty of tumeric. After the rice becomes opaque, cover in about 700ml of stock, add frozen peas and chicken and let simmer until all stock is absorbed and the rice is soft,

Eat it out the pan so it stays hot, because you probably don’t have a warming drawer at University and don’t want to put your plates in the oven with someone else’s sloppy lasagna and will save you washing up. Plates might brake at 200 degrees too.


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3 Responses to Only got a ‘paella’rubbish in the cupboard?

  1. Bazza says:

    This was a fascinating, hilarious and extremely well written piece. I am Barack Obama and I approve this blog.

  2. Paulo Ferreira says:

    This has inspired me to quit football and become a chef, not just for my benefit but for the benefit of the viewing public as well. I might set up a paella restaurant with Asier Del Horno… great stuff!

  3. louise says:

    Great piece! also, for more fun tasty rice recipes i think you’d like tilda basmati ‘s site

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